Never far away
by grangertash
Summary: Death is a funny thing. We go through life knowing that everyday we take one step closer to it. When it happens though, it somehow takes us by surprise. . Death is expected but that doesn't make it any easier... Implied Seddie


_It takes a lifetime to build a friendship. _

_It takes seconds to tear it apart._

They say you should appreciate what you have because at any second it could be taken away from you. Nobody really listens.

People still take love's and friendships for granted even though they know that they only have a lifetime to enjoy them.

I had a great life; friends, family and a comfortable way of living. I took it for granted and I didn't realise it until I no longer had anything to lose.

I had the girl I thought I loved. Kind, thoughtful, pretty and perfect in every way. She wouldn't have hurt a fly. After it happened though, she changed. At first she wouldn't talk to anyone, then she started hanging out with the wrong crowd and now she's out every night drinking herself to death. People always said it was Carly that kept Sam grounded but they were wrong. Carly isn't Carly without her best friend.

Spencer is another story. He tried his best to comfort Carly in the months after the accident but these days he just can't handle it. He realised his laid back attitude to raising Carly was no longer going to work. He got a job in a local office to set an example to Carly, of course it didn't work. He simply isn't Spencer anymore, he's just a normal guy struggling with an out of control teenager.

Then of course there's the matter of my Mom. Ever since the accident she's become unbearably protective, even more than usual. Though often I hear her crying late at night, I know she blames herself. But that's crap, if anyone could have stopped it, it's me.

Everyone else in the world gives us all these weird looks. Expressions that say there sorry for what happened and they totally understand what we're going through. I hate walking into school to faces of pity and words of 'I'm so sorry' and 'If you need anything, just ask'. They don't really understand, they never will.

Death is a funny thing. We go through life knowing that everyday we take one step closer to it. When it happens though, it somehow takes us by surprise. We don't expect it, even though we should. Death is expected but that doesn't make it any easier.

The thing that makes it worst is that I was the only person that had a chance to stop it but I didn't. I didn't even think, if I had, she would still be with us today.

_Sunday June 6th 2008 _

_I don't know why I came. I guess you could say I had a feeling that something was wrong. She had been unusually quite all day, she hadn't insulted me once but for some reason I missed her voice. I guess I wasn't consciously going to 'save' her, I just wanted to have a chat and maybe watch some DVDs...I don't know what I expected, she was still Sam after all._

"_What are you doing here dork?" I heard as soon as I knocked on the door. _

_Though it wasn't in her usual tone. Of course she had tried to sound tough but I could hear the fear in her voice. She barely opened the door, just opened enough thatI could see only her. I noticed her face was blotchy; she had been crying. _

"_What's that on your face?" I ask her noticing a red mark on the side of her cheek._

_She blushed and said, "Oh...I fell...earlier..."_

"_Right," I said unsure of what to say. _

_I could hear sharp voices in the background, male and female. They were getting louder and they were started to shout. 'Please stop!", "Come on, come here now!" I could just make out from the loud voices. _

"_Is everything alright Sam?" I asked her seriously worried._

_She looked and me for a moment and I could tell she was contemplating something. _

"_Yeah , everything fine Fred-dork. Just family stuff!" She told me scoffing and rolling her eyes at me. _

"_Right...well, I'll see you tomorrow Sam," I said quietly and waved good-bye even though I knew I should have stayed. _

_I started to walk away when I heard her call, "Freddie?" _

_Her expression then would stay in my mind forever. I could no longer see the Sam I knew, she looked venerable, she looked hurt and she looked in trouble. _

"_Yeah Sam?"_

"_Eh...nothing...see you later."_

_Then the door was slammed shut and the loud voices inside had disappeared. I hesitated for a moment. My instincts told me me stay but I didn't. _

_I walked away. _

I had every reason to stay. The aggressive voices I heard, the blood on her cheek, she had been crying and the look of helplessness on her face. Something inside me told me she was in trouble but I wouldn't listen.

After it happened life went by in a blur. I could hear peoples words of comfort but they went right through me, they meant nothing. I knew the tears were running down my face but I couldn't feel them, I couldn't feel anything. I missed everything about her, her blonde locks, her blue eyes, even her insults, I missed her.

The day after that night was the worst day of my life. I will remember it forever.

_Monday June 7th 2008_

_She hadn't been at school all day. I tried to reassure myself that she had most likely slept in but once again there was a burning at the back of my throat; I knew something was wrong. All day I continued to comfort a worried Carly as she contemplated what could have caused Sam to miss school. _

"_I'm sure she's fine...but she has been acting weird lately..." Carly said to me._

_She was right, Sam had not been herself the past few months. We were just to busy to see her silent cries for help._

"_Carly, I...I...think something wrong."_

_The second I said it I knew Carly could sense it too. It sounds crazy but I think somehow we both knew what had happened before we had seen it. It was silently decided that we would go over to Sam's apartment after school to see if she was Ok. The school day went slower than usually as we both impatiently waited for the bell to ring._

_Soon the end of the day had come and I was on my way to Sam's apartment with Carly. We didn't say anything the whole way there. I think we were both too scared to say what we were dreading. So we smiled all the way there, disguising our real fears. _

_When we got to number 48 the door was wide open and there was silence inside. That was the first sign something was wrong._

_We walked inside, still scared to say anything. Everything was as it should have been, thing's were in their correct place. It was the perfect vision of an apartment but still...something was wrong. _

_I heard a gasp and I looked to see Carly, hand covering her mouth pointing at the bedroom door. I turned my head and on the floor I could see blood, just leaking out of the room. _

_I turned to Carly and she was already crying. I took her hand and together we slowly opened the bedroom door. _

_The first thing we saw was Sam's mother, on the floor covered in blood. _

_Next to her, his head back on the toilet seat was Sam's step-father. Drenched in blood with a gun in his hand. _

_Then I saw her. Lying inside the back tub, barely recognisable. She was covered in cuts and bruises and blood covered her blonde locks._

_She was dead. _

Death is essential to human life. Imagine life without death? The world would be far too crowded. We live then we die. We are all dying anyway, every second we get closer to our coffins. We try not to think about it but it's the truth. You cannot run from death.

I often took Sam Puckett for granted. I didn't know how much her words meant to me, I didn't know how much I loved her eyes, her smell, her everything. Until she was gone, then I knew. How much she meant to me.

I should've stopped to smell the daisies but I didn't.

I should've known there was something wrong but I didn't.

I should've appreciated what I had but I didn't.

Sam Puckett should be here.

But she isn't.

And it's my fault.

_**x**_

_**AN: Now...that was depressing, wasn't it? I wanted to try an angst fic...did I pull it off or not? Please review and be honest, I was trying something new! Thanks for reading.** _


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